Girl, We Know Better.

The title for this post is the tone I want to set. Girl, WE KNOW BETTER. Don’t forget that while reading. You knew this all once before. Okay? May not make sense for everyone but I know it will for those who were suppose to feel this ( This is my art, so I can only put it down how I feel and see it in my heart & mind). 

I get so many emails and comments with questions about relationships and how to find the balance within so you can be the best version of you and be strong. When you guys email me about how I stay strong and how I move forward or how I am so willing to be for love and fall for someone without any question, I get stumped within responding. Simply because, I never go about doing the same thing with each relationship or each break-up. Every guy you date is going to be different. They just are. They are their own soul so not one approach can be used on all of them. Every relationship is different because it’s two souls that no other soul can be (I think I am getting somewhere with this, hmm).

Any who….

For those who are in relationships and want to know how to make sure the ship is sailing smoothly, I find it that the only way to not lose yourself is to maintain some type of spiritual routine. You need to be reading self-help books and staying aware of your actions and energy. I think it’s best to reflect on how you are behaving within your relationship on a daily basis. I say this because it is SO EASY to be unaware of how you are treating your partner and the relationship. The last thing you want is to be the reason a relationship you wanted to end due to you and your energy. 

Another great way to make sure your relationship either has a chance at being great or continues to sail smoothly, is by being very open and honest with your partner about how you feel at all times. Being honest and open about feelings and actions is typically what we all run from. We don’t want to always be frank about things with the one we claim we are the closest to. 

Sometimes you aren’t going to hear what you want to hear, but it beats possibly losing the relationship or living a lie in a relationship. You gotta know that you are strong enough to be honest and accept honesty. What ever is revealed you have to remember that it doesn’t have to make or break you. You can find any way to see the good in anything and allow it to add to you, not take away. 

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For those who want to know about how to stay strong after a breakup or how to move on, I have to tell you that you need to once more check in spiritually. ( if you are religious, that too.) You have to stay in tune with you. You can’t allow your idea of attachment and your temporary hurt feelings take you away from you. You have to be your own motivator because if you go looking for motivation outside of you, you won’t move on or heal. You will suppress everything and find yourself in more of what you don’t want. 

Just remind yourself if you are hurting, that you’ve been through worse, and what happened? You over came it. I have to remind myself when I am down, that there was once upon a time where I didn’t even see a way out or a reason to be alive. But here I am today. I am right here in the flesh still striving. Been striving. So why would we let the latest hurt bring us back to that when we know we are capable of surviving and healing because we have done it once before?

I think it’s because we are addicted to drama. We are raised in a world where we promote conflict, pain, and negativity so we feel it’s only normal to mope and fall victim to our feelings when it comes to relationships. I know this to have been true for me. Which is why now more than ever, I’ve been trying my damnedest (we all know that’s not a word, right? ok. Maybe it is because it spell checked for me, hmm.) to release that from my subconscious so I can be the best version of me even when I go through anything painful. Screen Shot 2016-08-25 at 2.07.59 PM

I am not at a point in my life where I believe that another human being is capable of feeding my soul. I don’t believe that we are intended to do that. You have to feed yourself. I may change my perception later on, anything is possible, but as of today, I know that my only provider for my well-being is me. It comes from within me because that’s where my creator resides. 

So if you are finding it tough to get back up, I want you to remember that you were created to give yourself the happiness and love you are seeking so desperately. Everyday when you wake up, remind yourself that you NEED to get up and do what makes your heart sing. Don’t allow yourself to lose focus. If you are hurting, find a way to channel that so it can benefit you. 

When I am hurting, I channel my pain into a reason to make sure I reach out to you guys with content because I know that you can relate. I know that you are needing to hear this just as much as I needed to hear “Nothing great can come with fear in place.” today. We are here to help each other. Typing up these posts makes my heart sing. It brings me joy and keeps me in touch with my authentic self. So, get up, and do what you need to do right now. You deserve it. 

-xoxo Kaylen Zahara

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2 thoughts on “Girl, We Know Better.

  1. Hi Kaylen, honestly I don’t even know where to start. I love the way you carry yourself, your mind and your confidence. I wish I had the sane confidence you have and the ability to speak your mind. I never want to stop hearing your thoughts. I’m 17 and I feel like I’ve been through so much oppression in my life I’m always struggling to find my voice. Most times I have people calling me difficult because I refused to settle or because I don’t share the same views as others. And I was able to brush it off for quite a while but now it’s starting to get to me especially when it comes to relationships. Yes I may be 17, but a lot of people my age are doing way more than me when it comes to relationships and it has me wondering, is it because I’m difficult? Growing up without a father or any male figure in my life, I don’t know what it’s like to be loved by a man. I love your perspective of things and there’s so much I’d like your opinion on, hopefully you’ll reach out through email in future. Thanks.

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