So lately I have been receiving emails about “how do I know if the guy I want to be with is serious about me?” so I decided to make this a ‘Keeping it Real’ post. I will start off by saying, you never will know, you can only trust what he is giving and showing you. What I mean by that is, you will never know what a man is thinking or truly means. Some men play the game really well, and will say things you want to hear, and do things for you you’ve never had done before and still be a dog when you aren’t present. Lol sorry to sound like I am male bashing but let’s be clear on the reality that is out there.
A guy can charm you, and still not be about you. He can wine and dine, be affectionate and spend his time and still doesn’t mean he wants to or plans to commit. Meanwhile, you’ve been wooed by his words and actions and have mistaken that you two are exclusive.
This is why I say you can never really be sure, but you just have to trust that you are in good hands like All State. I mean of course, I hope you have made the best possible selection of a candidate if you are going to catch feelings and trust that he isn’t like the majority that are looking for a convenient beneficial “relationship” without any strings attached.
I do have a few examples of what I consider to be signs that he isn’t sure about you.. Check the list out:
- Takes you to an event or club that he knows his ex or on call side chick works at or will be at. If he does this, it’s safe to say he is hung up on her and you are a rebound that he is using to make her jealous. ( 1% coincidence that he brings you to a party without knowing the girl he is screwing or use to date will be there.) Guys do this all the time. Pay attention, that girl in his phone, just might be, the bottle girl, dancer, or attendee. Pay attention, your heart is worth it. Only time this is “okay” is if he tells you that an ex might be there. This way, he is letting you know what to expect and he is letting you know his status with that girl. If he doesn’t give you a heads up, he is still screwing her, which is why he hasn’t spoken a word to you about her.
- Words and actions don’t add up. If says one thing and does another, either he is a big kid and needs to be trained, or he just isn’t that into you.
- Doesn’t expose your “relationship” online. He on social media? Always post when he is with friends, or out and about in town but always fails to post when he is with you? Yeah, he not pressed over you. He is doing HIM and keeping his other women content.
- Goes long periods without speaking to you or responding. Girl, he ain’t thinking about you.
- Phones always on silent or flipped over when you’re around. Safe to say, he is trying to eliminate the possible fight or realization that he has other women always calling or texting.
- Hasn’t asked you to be his girl exclusively but treats you like a ‘girlfriend’. Yeah, he is just enjoying you. Why not? You’re giving yourself to him, who wouldn’t take you up on that?
I think I could pull out several more examples, but these were repeated offenses in my experience and so they were the first to come to mind. It’s easy to get caught up in your feelings and be charmed. Trust, I know. But it comes to a point where you have to start learning and doing things differently.
If being the unofficial girl is bothering you, then it’s time you start being SURE about him before you question “is he sure about me?”.
So often, we as women, want to be loved and committed to that we are only focused on whether or not the guy likes us, when in reality we need to not be so pressed and focus on whether he is worth our time and emotional and sexual investment. We are the catch, so who cares if he is sure, are we sure about them?
Is he the loyal, respectful, romantic, smart, and trustworthy guy we are seeking or is he a smart player who knows what to do and say with every girl he seems to be intrigued by. Don’t mistake a guy being intrigued by you with him having genuine and long-term intentions with you.
In 2016, we have to analyze just about everything when it comes to men and dating. It may seem like a job, or down right sucks, but I am learning that it has its perks. I rather be the strong and aware woman I am today then be the fool I use to be. It doesn’t hurt to learn to weed out the players from the good guys. It builds your confidence and ultimately saves you from a lot of trouble and heartbreak.
I hope this was a great post for those who were seeking this advice on this topic. I will be sure to keep up with my emails and give feedback as soon as I can. In the mean time be happy, remember it’s all temporary, and stay focused.